Meet the Voices: Justin
I have the distinct privilege of writing the life story of Mr. Justin. By distinct, I mean, "dis stinks;" and if you think this stinks, you should try living with him.
Let's start at the beginning. Justin was born at a very young age. After a few years of puking on himself and being unable to control his bowel movements, he became a young man. Born and raised by wolves in a convent on Alcatraz, he decided to break away and move in with the people he now calls his family.
Those people did all they could to keep Justin from returning to his animal instincts. He took a liking to a young librarian by the name of Ms. Keifer. She introduced Justin to the wonders of collecting stamps. Justin's collection quickly grew as he saved his nickels to buy stamp tongs, hinges, and perforation guides.
Helluva speller, Justin was. He managed to spell the crap out of the entire elementary school.
Time moved on, and Justin realized that collecting stamps wasn't so cool. He began to do other things... like snorting cocaine and train-jumping. That was a bad year. But he grew out of that and became a theatre guy. Don't get me wrong; I mean, he still likes chicks, he's just a theatre guy.
During high school, he teamed up with the comic brilliance that is Tony to form Samizdat Radio. It became the highest-rated high school radio show on at that time in the entire county. Millions of people tuned into the radio, some to the show. It ran for a couple years, until the duo parted ways.
Justin went to the hallowed halls of Bowling Green State University, where he studied acting. After sleeping with a number of professors and paying off the right people, Justin managed to get a degree. It was the proudest moment in the wolves' lives.
After graduation, Justin moved to the bustling metropolis of Pittsburgh. There he is using his acting skills to mask his contempt for the customers and manager at his retail job. He reunited with the amazing Mr. Tony in a very heterosexual living arrangement. He lives there now, drinking lots of energy drinks and eating as much cheese as possible.
--[Tony]
Let's start at the beginning. Justin was born at a very young age. After a few years of puking on himself and being unable to control his bowel movements, he became a young man. Born and raised by wolves in a convent on Alcatraz, he decided to break away and move in with the people he now calls his family.
Those people did all they could to keep Justin from returning to his animal instincts. He took a liking to a young librarian by the name of Ms. Keifer. She introduced Justin to the wonders of collecting stamps. Justin's collection quickly grew as he saved his nickels to buy stamp tongs, hinges, and perforation guides.
Helluva speller, Justin was. He managed to spell the crap out of the entire elementary school.
Time moved on, and Justin realized that collecting stamps wasn't so cool. He began to do other things... like snorting cocaine and train-jumping. That was a bad year. But he grew out of that and became a theatre guy. Don't get me wrong; I mean, he still likes chicks, he's just a theatre guy.
During high school, he teamed up with the comic brilliance that is Tony to form Samizdat Radio. It became the highest-rated high school radio show on at that time in the entire county. Millions of people tuned into the radio, some to the show. It ran for a couple years, until the duo parted ways.
Justin went to the hallowed halls of Bowling Green State University, where he studied acting. After sleeping with a number of professors and paying off the right people, Justin managed to get a degree. It was the proudest moment in the wolves' lives.
After graduation, Justin moved to the bustling metropolis of Pittsburgh. There he is using his acting skills to mask his contempt for the customers and manager at his retail job. He reunited with the amazing Mr. Tony in a very heterosexual living arrangement. He lives there now, drinking lots of energy drinks and eating as much cheese as possible.
--[Tony]
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