A real Heartbraker: What not to say if you crash into Tom Petty's car

Justin: So, Tony was flipping through the channels today, and came across Celebrities Uncensored.
Tony: The televised boys' high school swim meet was on commercial! What would you do?
J: Anyway, there was a segment involving Adam Sandler, paparazzi, Tom Petty, and a minor car accident. Naturally, the Samizdat puns just popped out. You can't stop 'em
T: There's no sense trying.

Samizdat's 'What to say after you've crashed into Tom Petty'
--> "I'm sorry, Mr. Petty... It could've been worse, though. You could've been run down by a dream."
--> "It's a good thing we weren't near a cliff... otherwise we could've been free-- well, you know, free fallin'."
--> "Learning to fly? Hell, I think I should learn how to drive first!"
--> "You think it's my fault? I'll fight that charge, I'll stand my ground, and I won't back down... bitch."
--> "Let's get the story straight: the sky grew dark, you put the pedal down (to make some time)... what?"
--> "Wow... this sucks, man. I shouldn't have had that last dance with MaryJane, know what I mean?"
--> "So, how does it feel... you know, how does it feel to be you right now?"
--> "Tom Petty?! What the hell happened to you?! And what the hell was up with The Postman?!"