9.01.2004

Samizdat sees the Prez

Welcome, good listeners. This is Justin, reporting live from Main Street, Bowling Green, Ohio, where only DAYS ago, el Presidente drove by. Yes, Mr. George W. Bush, in his big ol' bus, drove by. I'll attempt to break down the events of that fateful Saturday:

3:30pm - First signs of protesters, no pun intended. I note how few there are, considering this is a college town. In fact, the only ones from my vantage point are three middle-aged women. At least their signs are fun.

3:45pm - Arrival of the first contingent of collegiate Bush supporters. I term them the 'Privileged White Boys for Bush' group. Imagine the stereotype those words convey, and you get the idea of what these gentlemen looked like.
3:46pm - PWBfB begin heckling the protesters. Soon after, two young men carrying a giant enormous American flag walk by. They stop directly in front of protesters, completely hiding them. I comment on the metaphor these young lads have just created. Flag-holders then spend the next 10 minutes letting the flag touch the ground, after which they fold it up improperly. Such a stunning example of patriotism.

4:30pm - A certain reporter resists the urge to play politically-themed music in the store where he is working. I-- He keeps eyeing up Bad Religion's "Let Them Eat War."

5:00pm - Flying monkeys from the land of Oz swooped in and picked off random members of the crowd.

5:30pm - We're getting close to the arrival. The tension is getting thick. The PWBfB raise the stakes of their heckling, telling the protesters to "go back to France." I note the irony of holding an American flag while cursing LaFeyette's descendents.

5:45-ish (still pm) - After hours of sheer boredom, police cars start whipping past at an alarming rate. The PWBfB start blowing their horn, happy as a self-righteous angel heralding the arrival of their false prophet.

Minutes later - A bus drives by, doing 45 (at least). From the store window, I can see a headless man with a powder-blue shirt and khakis wave to me. It was either the President, or some headless automaton used for security purposes.

That was it. After that, dozens of buses and cars whizzed by. What a bloody waste of my damn time. Crap on this, I'm out. I'm Justin, for the Samizdat Radio Show.

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